That's right. Yesterday was my birthday. It's official I'm 28! Hehe. My journey to 30 has now just begun. Sobs. Haha. Well, birthdays are weird as you get older. Sebab less exciting kot. Entahlah.
So I just celebrated my 28th birthday with my close friends and family. Alhamdulillah. I feel... blessed :'). Just want to say a massive thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes. They really made me smile. You guys are amazing.
ne for your well wishes! My phone was ringing non-stop on 18th November with lots of Birthday Wishes via SMS, Whatsapps, Facebook and emails. By the end of the day, I’ve received estimated close to 400 birthday wishes! I’m truly grateful to have met everyone of you in my journey towards self-discovery. - See more at: http://www.jonathan-quek.com/thanks-everyone-for-the-warm-birthday-wishes/#sthash.KuuOjFnK.dpuf
And YOU, thank you so so so much for the birthday wish :'). Couldn't believe you finally whatsapp me first after sooo long. Didn't expect it either. Thank you, thank you, thank you. His words always make me cry in silence because reading them made me feel so blessed. Hmm. He is just like a really good movie or book. The one that I hope that will NEVER end. And I'm crazy, I can easily have tears falling down just by thinking of him. Entahlah. So many things happened between us that I hope I can see him and explain EVERYTHING from the very beginning.
And perhaps due to experiences, when we truly have fallen into affection with someone, we just pray for them to be fine, healthy, happy and contented, with or without us :'). There's just this deep sincerity and patience which are out of nowhere suddenly embedded within our souls.
And it is beautifully selfless.
Happy Birthday Fida. Please love yourself more next time. A lesson well learned.
First and foremost, sorry for the long silence. This is possibly the longest I've ever gone without blogging. It was a very very very hectic month for me and alhamdulillah everything is under control now.
Some of you might already know this, but in case you didn't, my family and I just came back from umrah few days ago. I have experienced the best moments in my life, syukur alhamdulillah and the experience of carrying out this faithful journey with my family has been heartwarming, extremely amazing and not to forget very peaceful :'). There is so much to say that I don't even know where to start. Tapi for the time being, let the pictures do the talking.
Camel farm | Makkah
Masjid Nabawi | Maghrib prayer
Most beautiful sunrise | Masjid Nabawi
Kaabah | rooftop view
Kaabah | night view
Kaabah | day time
Door of Kaabah
Masjidil Haram | rooftop view at night
Laut Merah | Jeddah
Jabal Rahmah :')
I am forever grateful.
Oh by the way, I'm in Thistle Port Dickson now for short vacation with my dearest little sister. Esok kena bangun awal, brekkie and water activities! Jet ski la, fish feeding la, kayaking la, semua ada. All complimentary.
And last but not least; Monday blues no more, I am OFFICIALLY unemployed! Yeayyyy!!! Hehe.
Good night lovelies :).
2013 has been a fantastic year. A year filled with incredible components of fun, action, changes, sorrow, joy, experiments, love and many more. Reflecting December 2013, my life has gone into different new turns and heights. The love and care of my family, best friends, friends and colleagues are nowhere at a point to be questioned :'). 2013 was a year full of trials and depression but after all 2013 has been a positive year, at least for me :). Been blessed beyond measures, alhamdulillah .
I am not really into new year resolutions and wishlist. Tapi, on a second thought, I could use them as guidelines as I go along and continue my journey for this year, inshaa Allah.
No longer a secret, I'll be going to Birmingham, United Kingdom soon for at least a year, to finish what I've started. ACCA. Ada 4 papers lagi. There were times when I just couldn't take it anymore. I failed twice and I stopped. Hahaha. That was in 2011. Lama dah tinggal benda ni and it is super hard. Susah. Tapi ACCA would give a better career prospects and better pay :). So just do it! Hehe.
Travel plan. So far I only have few destinations on my list. Saudi, Hong Kong, Macau, Shenzhen and UK. As for the rest of it, only time will tell. Well, life is indeed a journey :).
And I really HOPE to pray for my future Imam bersaksikan Kaabah Allah dan Taman Raudhah Rasulullah. Tingkatkan darjatku Ya Allah, sebagai seorang isteri, seorang ibu :').
May we be focused on our goals and dreams. May we achieve all of them if they are beneficial for us in the long run. And may all of our intentions and actions be blessed with His and our parents' barakah and redha. Semoga kita semua menjadi lebih baik :).
Last but not least, here are the highlights for 2013. Another year has come and gone. How time flies.
JAKARTA & BANDUNG
JAKARTA & BANDUNG
THE WINNER OF MITBCA AWARDS, FEATURED IN UTUSAN MALAYSIA & HARIAN METRO
And that's how I fall for you without knowing much about you :)
And he was stranded last night in Winter Wonderland. Hmmm. Cold weather and it was raining! Why did he tell me that it hurts me so bad. And why do I always think about him? I'm soooo over with this first move thing.
For the past months, I have been greeted by pleasant beginnings. Tomorrow is yet another memorable starting point of one of the many dimensions in my life. And for that I'm forever grateful :)
Happy new year!
EMPIRE DAMANSARA PERDANA
Aren't these gorgeous? Sooooo lovely as decoration :).
YORK, UNITED KINGDOM
Ohhhh... he sent me this. Somewhere in York, United Kingdom :'). Ada lagi few pictures but all pemandangan. Haha its ok. Thank youuuuuu. Tak dapat pergi, tengok gambar pun jadi lah. Sobs.
And so now smile Fida, it's a brand new day. Just enjoy every little thing in life... at the moment.
Last but not least... goodbye 2013, and hello 2014!
Till then :)
First and foremost, alhamdulillah the most awaited day has come at last! And I am ready to serve one month notice period effective semalam, 24 December 2013. My firm policy, so bring it on.
When I was typing my resignation letter yesterday, hate to admit but I got teary-eyed. Sobs. I'm a tax consultant by profession doing mainly corporate tax returns and I love my job, seriously. Sometimes ada la meroyan sana sini, but that's what life is all about. Kind of a love-hate relationship. Lucky I'm not leaving because of any drama atau pun because I don't like my job. It's just that Allah has better plans for me than I had for myself :). Take a break for one year and finish what you have started :). I am still very nostalgic. EY... my first and only job, my first and only interview. Bittersweet :'). Hmmm, change is always hard.
And alhamdulillah I am now a Chartered Accountant :'). My application has just been approved in the recent council meeting of Malaysian Institute of Accountants (MIA). This is one of the things that you really have to do before leaving the firm! Haha. Kalau tak memang jenuh nak apply lepas ni. I should have applied the membership earlier, at least last year. Takde la kelam kabut macam ni. Haih. But anyway, semua benda pun macam dah almost settle :). Just pending sikit-sikit lagi, my visa application. Ada 3 visa nak kena buat altogether and I'm planning to apply for US visa jugak, tapi macam tak dan je nak buat. Sobs. Too little time. Gedik je ni, nak pergi entah bila. Tapi orang kata sediakan payung sebelum hujan gitu konsepnya. Hahaha. At least that visa valid for 10 years, multiple entries kan. Manalah tahu gedik nak pergi from UK ke. #eh?? Haha.
So... that's about it. A brief summary of everything. I'm leaving real soon! Mixed feelings. Suka, takut, sedih, excited, semualah. :'). Semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya.
Hmm... year end is approaching, holiday mode is on. And that Mr. Arrogant pun tak terkecuali. He is currently in London. Mungkin busy berkuntum dekat Oxford Street sekarang ni, boxing day kan ataupun baru bangun tido nak cari makan, lapar katanya. Hehe. Sobs. My life is pretty weird enough nowadays.
And yes we met again just two of us :'). Not a date, no. It was just an extended ice breaking session. He is the strangest crush I have EVER had in my life, the weirdest, and I know he knows I like him that's for sure. Too obvious kot. Hmmm. We met few times dah sebenarnya, kata satu office kan. Sometimes I ran away, sometimes just borak dengan kawan-kawan dia and pretend he's not there. Hahaha. No eye contact, NEVER! Dah jangan nak cakap drama ke apa, tapi memang tak boleh berdepan dengan dia secara normal. Postur badan jadi kaku, oksigen makin kurang, muka jadi panas, rasa nak pengsan. Hahaha. Biarlah orang tu nak confused ke apa, I just don't have enough courage to face this! Hehe.
So, can you imagine? WE NEVER REALLY KNEW EACH OTHER. Sangat awkward kot sebab dia pun pernah tanya directly kat FB ok kenapa you lari you? Haih. And few people yang tahu pasal drama lari-lari ni gatal tangan pergi like?? Choii. And last Monday few hours before flight dia to London we met over lunch. :'). I NEVER thought this would happen, seriously. Sebab the day before tu dia macam diam je. He kept me waiting kot. Haih. Memang we had a deal Thursday haritu tapi at least bagitahu la kan Ahad tu jadi ke tidak. Walaupun dia takde la cancel ke apa and we promised each other dah pun. Cumanya what if kalau dia lupa? Aku ni punyalah tak boleh duduk diam since Thursday. Duk fikir macam-macam. So I cried. Sebab soo sad. Hmm I guess I'm just a little too sensitive. Tapi my friend bagi tahu, don't push. He's a smart guy he knows his schedule so he knows dia dah janji with you, Inshaa Allah the lunch is on dear just tunggu! Hehe tapi knowing me, one drama after another.
Jadinya Monday haritu, I just wore kurung modern biasa pink colour macam selalu pakai pergi office. Mata and muka bengkak and sembab sikit sebab nangis kan. Hahahaha. Dramanya kau ni Fida oi. Ni baru nak kenal ni kau dah buat drama macam-macam. Haih. My bad, I know! Then around 9.30 am macamtu dia whatsapp "dalam pukul 12 lunch?" OMG! It took me 30 minutes to reply kot. Sebab dengan condition muka dan mata yang tak mengizinkan, duk fikir macam tak nak jumpa je. Dah la first time ni. And I said next time maybe sebab taknak dia rushing, flight dia malam kan. Tapi dia cakap ok je, flight 12 midnight. Hehe. So I went to Watson bawah office, pergi beli Revlon eye concealer uolss!!!! Hahahahahahaha. Punyalah nak tutup mata bengkak. Hehe. Lupa nak bawak concealer kat rumah, sebabnya how do I know?? Pergi office just bawak basic make up palette sudah, perlu ke nak angkut semua kan. Tak pasal-pasal je. Huhuhu. I was not ready to see him please. Semua pun serba tak kena.
So he came and he picked me up :'). I don't like surprises, really. Ingatkan dia datang office and nak makan area office je. And dia sengih cakap takde nice place kat sini. Ok first thing I noticed, he dressed properly! Sobs. Sedangkan iols? Sedih. His friend bagitahu jangan nak overdress sangat sebab he might wear his usual t-shirt, khakis short and slipper je pun. Hehe. Tapi no no no! He wore polo collar shirt kaler navy blue, jeans and dark brown loafers :'). Sekali tengok je masa dalam kereta dia and terus lekat dalam kepala otak kekdahnya. Haha terus tersenyum sorang-sorang tanpa sedar gitu sebab selalu tengok dia kat FB memang dia tak pakai macam ni and masa jumpa dia time Sapura Carnival that day pun dia tak macam ni. Totally different. Hehe. Oh God, the first impression that Mr. Arrogant gave is incredibly amazing. How nih,?? I'm going to hurt myself soon. And heartbroken. Tapi kalau orang yang kenal this guy mesti pelik kenapa la duk suka dia sangat-sangat. No reason please I just like him the way he is. :'). He is strong-willed, passionate, ambitious, gentle, kind, firm and the list goes on that made me feel so much attracted to him. As much as within my limited knowledge before, I like him. Then now I see him and I like him even more. Hmmm. Sedih kan. I thought kalau dah jumpa tu maybe ada la benda yang boleh buat perasaan tu hilang. But no I was wrong.
He brought me to the Italian restaurant lupa dah apa namanya. Tengok menu pon tak paham apa benda. I was totally clueless. Makanan apa nih. Hahaha. So I asked him apa yang sedap. Hehe. He is so gentleman la pulak haihhhh. Duk cerita ni pun tersengih sorang-sorang. Hehe. Scene bukak pintu kereta ataupun tarik kerusi tu semua bukan reality ok, kalau nak scene tu pi tengok cite Korea! Hahahaha. He is gentle in his own way :'). Baik, soft-spoken, witty. Pelik sangat dia tak pernah ada any relationship before with any girls. Too busy maybe and he is too workaholic or maybe he's not ready for any commitment. Kalau orang tak kenal dia maybe akan fikir he's married and dah mid 30's. Dia memang nampak mature tapi the fact is, he is just a year older than me :).
So we ordered the food, and we talked, and talked and talked. 2 hours and half kot? 12.00 - 2.30 hehe. Kesian dia sebab he told me dia tak packing lagi, tak tukar duit lagi and tak withdraw duit pun lagi. Hahaha. Last minute jugak dia ni pun. He loves travelling a lot. Tu yang tak kisah pun pergi sorang. Haih dia ni suka senyum and benda ni macam menyakitkan hati. Sobs. Both of us takde tengok handphone pun dalam duration 2 jam setengah tu and I like it that way. Hahaha. Kalau salah sorang tengok dah sah-sah la boring kan. Hiks.
Ok confession time, iols cuma makan 2 suap je. Hahahahahaha. Tak lalu uols. Dia sampai tanya tak sedap ke. Hehehehe. I said no tapi tak lapar. Haih. Bengong je. And dah after sejam setengah borak tu the waiter ada tanya do you want any desert sir? And he asked me nak coffee tak. I said no its ok. Sebabnya kan, apple juice ni pon tak habis lagi. Sekali dia order 2 coffee pulak dah! Time tu dah 1.30. Lunch hour dah habis diknon! Dia takpelah tengah cuti kan.
And my coffee pun tak habis, punya lah nervous. Padahal kan, I'm a coffee lover. Then he asked for the bill and dia bayar. So bila nak masuk kereta tu dia macam ckp sorry Fida, panas sikit. Memang panas la sebab dia park dekat open site, tengah hari lagipun, tapi perlu ke cakap sorry?? Commonly known ok and not his fault pun. Lumrah alam katanya kalau dah tengah hari buta memang panas la. Hahaha. And I was just looking at him je lah cakap it's ok tengah hari kot and dia duk betul-betulkan aircond. Hahaha. Lepastu dia cakap, takut cair make up you. Bahahahahhahahahahahahaha. Sekarang aku memang rasa nak tergelak. Dalam kereta tu rasa macam eeeeeee bencinya. Make up ala kadar je pon macam biasa pergi office. Ceh!
So dalam kereta dia cakap lagi, next time jangan lari-lari dah. I tak makan orang kan? Kekeke. Motif?? And I just replied, tak tahu la kenapa lari from you and senyum je la kan, nak buat apa lagi. Then he replied, maybe kita tak kenal kot, sebab tu you lari. Hehe. Anyway masa before dia drop kan kat depan lobby office, I told him sini la the first time I nampak you dengan your boss nak pergi makan. Hehe. That was few months ago. And before keluar from his car, I gave him one book the best attractions in the UK. Buku ni dah letak kat office since last Friday! Hahaha. So I told him, ni my book tau, you pinjam je sebab nanti you travel alone kat UK. Nanti pulangkan balik. Dia macam gelak besar and cakap haaa pinjam je?? Hahaha. Its not yours, its mine ok. And then terusla iols keluar macamtu je terlupa nak cakap thank you please for everything!!! OMG. So classic. Sobs.
That book is quite thick and besar macam text book sejarah ok. I bought masa Big Bad Wolf tu untuk kegunaan masa hadapan. Hehe. Ingatkan dia taknak bawak sebab memang tebal, leceh je tapi before dia fly tu dia cakap dia bawak that book, and he said thank you. Hehe. Tak tau la tipu ke apa but thank you :). I did ask how much should I pay, it is a common courtesy anyway. Tapi dia cakap ala tak payahla. Hmmm. Thank you so much for everything. Stay safe wherever you are and happy holiday :).
Wow panjangnya! Tak sangka. Hahaha. Thank you for reading. I might delete this post later I don't know. He's that interesting, although it was brief and didn't turn out the way I hope, it's undeniable to say that he's so special to be able, effortlessly made me feel the way I feel now. I will remember this guy as someone very special whom Allah brought briefly in my life although he was never mine. :') Oh God, I've said way too much.
One more month and we will never see each other again.
But life is a journey, so just wait and see.
KAWAH PUTIH, BANDUNG
There is too much drama in my life lately and seriously I am trying my best to stay away, to stay free of it. Tapi kan, it seems that Mr. Arrogant is no longer arrogant, maybe? Hehe. Entahla. Maybe he knows I’m leaving soon, so dia macam lain. Not his usual self. Hmmm. Dealing with a crush can be difficult, uncomfortable and also confusing at the same time. Haih.
And we finally set some time to meet over lunch. How do I act normal around him? The fact that I always run and run and run bila jumpa dia sampaila dia pun naik pening and confused. Perempuan ni dah kenapa. Hahaha. But no matter how hard I try, I just can’t. Tak confident langsung . Sobs. Yes it’s just lunch but why I’m so nervous! So nanti nak pakai baju apa? Hahaha.
Ok, he will be on leave that day tapi nak mai office ke macam mana, I’m not really sure apa arrangement dia nanti. But whatever it is, benda ni akan sangat awkward. Help me. I want to meet him so bad but at the same time I hope it won’t happen. Hahaha. Ting tong sangat ni. I’m insane. “Alritey mitey lunch it is” gituuu sangat so sweet pulak dah ayat Mr-Not-So-Arrogant ni. Kekeke. Tapi sweet ke masalahnya? Hmmm.
And he told me he’ll be going to York, UK alone next week. Hayoh. Such a lonely man he is. Hahaha. Yakin je. Well, when you are concerned about someone, you become over-analytical about each and every word written and spoken. Tak ke? Or is it just me? OVER-ANALYTICAL and such a stalker person I am. Sobs.
But one thing that makes me so happy adalah, he came to see me when I was on leave last week! Hehehe happy uols. Tatau nak cakap macam mana. Tak kesah la dia datang atas sebab apa sekalipun tapi he did come anyway kan. Haha. Sah-sah takleh nak lari pi mana-mana pon kalau dia dah terjah macamtu. Takkan nak nyorok bawah meja ye dok. Kalau dekat Majestic Hotel haritu boleh la lari-lari turun naik escalator. Hahaha gila perempuan ni. But thank God I was on leave.
Hmmm should I keep liking him, or should I really stop liking him? You are just amazed at his charms and you fall in too deep Fida. And I REALLY can’t believe myself either.
Hmm sooo sorry, banyak sangat post ngarut lately, but no worries when I think I have said enough, I will stop. I am just plain exhausted. Nak buat macam mana kan, I’m just a woman. My friend once said, sedangkan baby Azwan Ali dengan Michael Ang pun meroyan, apatah lagi perempuan tulen macam iols? Hahaha tak gitu? Hmm.
When the time comes, it comes. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
KAWAH PUTIH, BANDUNG
Rain rain go away