Tuesday, August 29, 2017

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Hmmm… I truly have no words to describe how these days feel like.

A whirlwind. Happiness. Nervous. Excitement. Lots and lots of love. Tears.

And I tried to sum it up, but I can’t. Well, how can I?

Your life change in an instant the moment this man says just this one line :) Despite being sooo sooo busy right now (it's 5.30am and I am still in the office, fyi -__-) I managed to go out with Shawal and his family for ‘quick’ dinner last Saturday. Not that quick actually, he sent me back just before midnight. Hehe.

It feels uber fulfilling when both of us we’re so busy with work (me with my super peak period and him with his current life as a locum doctor at night), but we still can find time to see each other. I do feel that we are maximizing the time that we have. Hehe.

And none of us wanted to leave too. Sigh. Nothing prepared me for how difficult it was to see him leaving. Sobs. But yea, everything has changed now. My priorities have changed at least. Hehe. When I was listening to him, I instinctively knew to respond to his instruction as a sign of respect :)

All in all, I am truly feeling syukur to Allah SWT for this blessing. May Shawal and I be happy and we are working towards His rightful path. Till Jannah inshaaAllah :)

A wedding-related entry soon?



5:57 AM | 1 comments
Thursday, August 17, 2017

I was so zonked from work lately and sometimes I only managed to sleep for 2+ hours a day. I can sense that this will not end well, but eventually it will end soon, real soon. So just bear with me for a while okay? Hehe.

Anyways, despite the exhaustion with my peak period, I have so many things to be grateful about, both personal and professional :). But to be honest, what I’m most grateful for is truly, sincerely for this newfound special friend at this particular instance.

To be honest, I’m nervous to write too much, in case I jinx everything. And what if everything ends before anything even begun?

Well, August is a crazy busy period, but I don’t know, I’d looked forward to seeing him, every weekend. We spent dinner time together, sit side-by-side watching movie and spent hours chatting. And we’ve since been texting and talking over the phone, daily and frequently. It’s crazy.

So yesterday, I’d a complete meltdown. I’m just mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted, I think too much. Our WhatsApp was filled with only my messages asking inappropriate things and I did pause with an apology, in which he replied good naturally. Hehe.

He always ask how was your day Fida. When I was knee-deep in feeling overwhelmed and highly stressed out with work, he’d patiently listened and always so encouraging. He speaks and responds to me with absolute nonchalance, as if nothing about me tires him. Oh god I love this man.

Sometimes at night, I have a hard time remembering how he looked like. I can’t make out his whole image in my mind which makes me sometimes nervous. I miss him. So I lean on our shared moments and reread our texts, his warmth is apparent :).

And I like the fact that I can wear my highest heels and still be inches shorter than my man. Hehe. I’m 5’1” and he’s 5’9” I think so. I can just make full use of his height! Haha.

He’s coming to meet my parents soon. And just now few minutes ago, he wants me to meet his parents too, this weekend. OMG. I'm nervous like crazy.

#doakanyangbaik2, inshaAllah.

It all feels unreal that a man has finally entered into my life and heart. And for that, I'm forever grateful.


1:12 AM | 3 comments
Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Rainy days in my mind are melancholic writing days. It is almost 10.00 pm now and I'm still in the office. My work-life now especially during this super peak period is kinda hard to explain. It’s not that much different – but it IS different. It feels different. I have never been better and happier.

How do I explain to anyone that though it is true we don’t know each other that well; ever since that particular date that night, he keeps feeling inexplicably familiar?

And how do I explain to anyone without sounding downright lunatic that even though the period in which we've known each other was short, it was inexplicably loaded and in a way, intense?

Or, perhaps, it was intense and thus meaningful to only me. I’m not sure how he feels, and I doubt I’ll ever know. I think it would be nice to know, but I can always deal with not knowing.

Somehow I think, we are each other’s prayers incarnated. But how did I become this person who spent a day with a person, and now keeps wondering about an entire lifetime together? Your soul, you’ve no clue of its enchantment.

And I’ve been in deep, lengthy, and extremely personal conversations with God ever since.

If only he knew that if he is ready, and reciprocating, I would be willing to go all the way. I would say, you’re not an option, but a decision. I chose you.

And therefore, I do what I do best: I just love you harder.

Oh god, I think I'm in love :)


10:19 PM | 0 comments
Friday, July 28, 2017

What it feels like to finally like someone?

Well, I think this isn't love, yet. Maybe...only a type of falling. But, if I am to be very honest with myself, I think I am a little on the way to be a lot in love.

I just realised that: oh, we connect. He would fit a type of whatever I've been looking for.

I always wanted someone in the same field, but we are totally not. Truth is, I love it when he shared about his job, patient related stuff and all those medical jargon. It is so different and that is how we connect.


I was eating an apple for dinner;

Him : Cukup ke epal?
Me : Cukuppp, one apple a day keep the doctor away
Him : It doesn't seem to be working ;p

Him : You don't like cats?
Me : Kitten okay, cats tak berani, I geli
Him : To be honest, I don't plan to have any cats in my own house... Sebab my mom dah ada banyak


Him : Well... kelantan women are... legendary
Me : Oh whyyy, you must have an experience
Him : No la, people say kelantan women pandai jaga suami

Sigh. These are all obvious flirting signs.

I don't know if this is, or will go anywhere. I'm just going to put in several prayers, hoping for the best to both of us.

These days I think my life is full. I really am happy. He just feels so... right. And we are on the same page when it comes to every single thing.

Hehe it has been so long that I've talked this random, I'm sorry :)


1:32 AM | 2 comments
Saturday, July 1, 2017

So I wrote down a list of all the things I have brought with me to Mount Kinabalu for easy reference. As mentioned HERE, climbing Mount Kinabalu is of course physically challenging, but it's not true 'mountaineering'. The trail is well marked and there are few rest stops every kilometer. And the hike seemed pretty doable with a moderate level of fitness but just remember the keyword, PLEASE BE PREPARED FOR IT.


 I was on the lookout for proper hiking shoes in the sales and was thinking of getting myself Salomon at first but you really don't have to buy so many expensive item justtt for this trip. Hehe. So I ended up getting myself a pair of waterproof hiking shoes (brand: Gelert) from Sports Direct. They were half price and cost about RM98. Just remember that almost every single pair of shoes needs to be broken in before they can be comfortably worn. And this Gelert shoes, they worked great because I had broken them in during my training days at Bukit Gasing.

My layering for summit are thermal tight shirt, Etonyx windbreaker bought from @bagakoutdoor, GAP jumper, the right waterproof jacket purchased from @bagakoutdoor, two pairs of Cotton On leggings (one thin and one thick) and two socks to keep me warm. I really look like a giant and sooo bulky. Haha. What to do, the temperature at the top drops like a stone when the wind blows. Anyways, when you pack, just remember that you need clothing which keeps you dry when it rains. And, please don't forget one of the most important gears for women that is rarely discussed - the sports bra. I bought mine from Sports Direct.

Waterproof glove is also needed although it is not really compulsory because some parts of the climb will require you to hold on to a rope to pull yourself up. My Patagonia waterproof gloves were purchased from @bagakoutdoor too. Do check their Instagram account or you may go to the physical store in Pandan Jaya. This store is highly recommended as I've purchased most of the gears here and it is all affordable.


This is compulsory item to bring together with spare batteries because it will be used during summit night. Again, I bought my headlamp at @bagakstore and cost about RM20? Tak ingat. But if you wish to borrow mine, by all means :)

  Drugs / Medicine 
I took a moderate pain killer (Panadol Actifast) and also nausea pills on the way up and back to avoid altitude sickness. So two pills before the start at Kinabalu Park, two  more at Laban Raba and another two at the summit. Not too worry, I went to see doctor before the trip to ensure that I won't get overdosed on pills. Haha.

  Pain reliever / Muscle rub
You will be feeling sore and tight after your hike not because you are old haha. This is a normal event so just deal with it. The doctor that I've seen gave me deep heating rub and seriously it helped a lot! Thanks Mr. Doctor. I also brought Yoko Yoko as a back-up. Please do not forget to bring Minyak Cap Kapak and Vicks Vaporub to relieve headache pain. You will surely need these at Laban Rata.

  Food and water
They say you can refill the water along the way up  but to be honest I don't dare to drink unpurified water. Hehe. So I take with me at least 3 liters of mineral water and 1 bottle of 100 plus both for the walk up and for the walk down. So in total I have 9 liters of liquid in my bagpacks. Haha. Don't get yourself dehydrated okay! And you may think I might be crazy bringing a heavy backpack but NO, I've hired a porter to carry all those. Hehe. It is a good investment considering my condition yang sakit pinggang, sakit belakang so I don't mind paying extra.

High energy snacks and chocolate bars are important too to supplement the provided food on the way up so just bring one or two will be sufficient enough.

  Rain poncho, tissue and hand warmer 
The toilets don't have loo roll so I don't think this needs much explanation. It’s a lot more convenient to have your own, I think.

Rain poncho is a must-pack item too. I bought the hooded poncho from Guardian for less than RM10. And I brought two with me because I don't think it is durable.

The hand warmer is not really necessary, I don't even use it. But if you want to buy, you may go to Daiso and get it for RM5 without GST! Haha.

  Other essentiols 

Toilettries and make-up. Haha. I know this is kind of weird but I wear Dior moisturizer with SPF in it before hiking. Oh and maybe for eyes I used the waterproof body shop pencil eyeliner and for lips I'd go with a tinted light colored balm to keep my lips hydrated. Haha.


When you are on top of the mountain, you will be in direct sunlight. And I forgot to bring along sunblock and I ended up with the ugliest sunburn I've had in years. Just bear in mind, high altitudes equals serious burns.

I always forget these. FYI, the room in Laban Rata is kind of hostel room with shared bathroom and I wish I'd brought them with me. Plus, it is also a great idea to wear flip-flop for lunch and dinner at Laban Rata  to give your feet a break from hiking shoes.

And that's all from me. Next I'll write about my preparation, physically and mentally if time permits. Hehe. Stay tuned!


11:33 PM | 0 comments
Friday, June 30, 2017

Eid Mubarak everyone!

Here's hoping everyone has a safe journey back home. So am back to work post-Raya break and I really had an unproductive day today getting into the routine again. Hehe. Prolly still on Raya mood. And, if there is no scheduled meeting today, I wouldn't have come to work.

Kebaya nyonya and sarung from @batikabyhudaa for Day 1

I sent my Baju Raya to my tailor who confirms that she wouldn't be able to make it by first raya. Hehe. But I knew from the get go that that was going to be the case and so I have to find any baju in peach color to wear on 1st Syawal. Well just because everyone in my family is wearing the same color tone. #teamsedondon what to do. Haha.

Jadinya, pakai apa yang ada je lah. Just mix and match whatever that I have in my closet. Hehe.

Dress from @ianshamkl for Day 3 

And I know I've put on some kilos as compared to last year, and the year before that. Haha. Sobs. So now how to lose 6kg in 2 monthssss? Grrr. Geram.

Anyhoo, I just stumbled upon the post by @theduckgroup earlier today and that brought a smile to my face. Rezeki Syawal orang kata. Haha. I never participated in any contest but I guess they are just being kind.

So this is my ootd for Eid that caught their attention. And I've just got dUCk dollars worth RM100 in return. Hiks! It's time to purchase another one then! 

Love the print #thealhambraduck

Last but not least, this is me today trying to be productive. Lols. Kasi chance okay, I haven't posted a selfie in a while. Hiks. Love love love my matte lipstick from @hudabeauty. It stays on forever!

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin :)


1:31 AM | 2 comments
Sunday, June 18, 2017

The Delhi Belly had finally caught up with me at 8,000 ft above sea level! 

And that was truly one of the highlights of this trip. Hehe. So unexpected, I was just eating rice and only rice. The actual culprit in this situation is often a mystery. Haha. But I was convinced it was from the white rice we've eaten that night. Both Nini and I just ate white rice together with sambal ikan bilis packed from home and we've been fighting some kind of Delhi belly right after. Haha. So if you ask;
Will I get Delhi belly?
Short answer; more than likely. Hiks.

Well, India is really like nowhere else on earth. Yes, it is crowded, dusty, noisy and the list goes on but still... my favorite place so far :). InshaAllah, we'll be there again, soon. Hehe. Ladakh calling baby!

And apologies for not continuing my India story, it has been almost 3 years I know. It has become harder and harder to find time to blog nowadays. So so so lazy.


Our dinner was good as usual. I ate rice with chicken curry cooked with Kashmiri spices and it was da bomb. Bertambah-tambah. Shoo shedap! They also served semiya payasam for dessert which I don't know how it tastes like. To me, it looks like yogurt and yogurt for dessert? Thanks but no thanks. Hiks. It is actually a combination of milk, sugar and vermicelli.

All of us spent the night along the quiet banks of Nageen lake and we were talking to Ajaz about Delhi while watching TV. He said not to worry so much, just take it all with a pinch of salt, and it will be alright. But the thing is, the news on TV suddenly shows travelers were robbed in New Delhi. And Ajaz was laughing so hard, he quickly changed the TV channel. Duh. Haha sooo sakai.

The first thing I noticed while talking to him, was his eyes. Bright hazel brown and they were soo pretty. Then I realised, more often than not, Kashmiris are a beutiful lot. Can't help it so I told him; you've got beautiful eyes. He was smiling and replied; I know that, but yours are fake! Bahahaha. Sooo sarcastic. He was right, but you don't have to state the obvious out loud pleaseee. Haha.

Ajaz, Uncle Nabi, yours truly, Fana, Fana's shuben and Nini

We will be heading to Gulmarg the next morning and we have to say goodbye to Uncle and his family. They were soooo kind to us and we were glad that we stayed 3 nights with them. So, if you decide to visit Kashmir, do note that you'll spend most of your time where you're staying. And hence it is important to get that right. Choose carefully and read reviews because nothing ruins a trip like being ripped off.

Jamia Masjid Srinagar built around a large courtyard

Birds flying around Jamia Masjid Srinagar 

 Jamia Masjid Srinagar 

We thought of going to Jamia Mosque first before heading to Gulmarg as we still got plenty of time. Our driver, Nadeem informed us that it is located at the center of old part of the city and cannot be considered to be very safe especially after Friday prayers because some of the Kashmiri protesters will throw bricks and stones at Indian policemen. 

What I've noticed in Kashmir most of the masjids here have no domes and minarets which always associated with mosques. But you can see the pagoda type structure that resembles of a Buddhist shrine.

So, we entered from the Southern side, which is the main entrance to the mosque. And it seems to have had entrance from North and East as well. 

On entering the main doorway, we can see the huge courtyard with well-maintained lawns and towards the west is the main prayer hall. There is a square pool in front of the praying hall and we spent most of our time there, looking at the birds flying around the mosque. Sooo beautiful.

We spent couple of minutes there and then we left to Gulmarg. To be honest, I was sleeping the whole 60km journey to avoid motion sickness. Hehe. It takes maybe around 1 and half hour to Gulmarg from Srinagar. And when we were about to reach Gulmarg, our driver stopped at one place and told us we should rent out the winter jackets and shoes. At first, we firmly said no, we have our own stuff and we do not plan to rent any. But boy we changed our mind. Haha. Just in split seconds. We were told that the snow is thick up there and we wouldn't want our shoes to get wet. So we just rent the boots and personally I think that is just enough. No need to rent those winter clothes as it will be a waste of money.

Hilltop Hotel, Gulmarg 

We then reached the hotel parking area and and in no time we realised that we have made a right decision. See the snow? Sooo fluffy. Haha. There are rental shops right here too if you wish to rent but probably the earlier one where our driver had stopped would have been a bit cheaper.

We wanted to leave our luggage and have a look at our room first. FYI, Gulmarg has many hotels from budget to luxury. It is all up to you to choose. And we decided to splurge on our last night here in Kashmir so we booked the Hilltop Hotel in advance. Not that expensive though but still above average. Hehe.

And no one really resides here, except for the staff of around 50 hotels which are built here for tourists.

 My room at the Hilltop hotel 

This was my room at the Hilltop Hotel Gulmarg and I like the view from my room the most. The best thing here is the fact that the room is also centrally heated. It can get very cold at night so we NEED this for sure haha.

The location of this hotel is perfect too. Very close to the gondola (cable car) and yes the hotel staff was very cooperative and helpful. Highly recommended.

Farouq, Uncle Nabi's good friend. Persis hero bollywood? Lols

 Gondola ticket

We were told to meet Uncle Nabi's good friend here in Gulmarg. He could arrange for our gondola tickets as this place is often known for tourist trap. And luckily we have Farouq with us, he helped us a lot. At least we know where to go and what to do. It is completely disorganised here and there was such a hugeee crowd.

The cable car follows the ski tracks too. Sooo lovely.

View from the cable car ride

The snow must have covered the roof of the houses 

Pretty winter :)

Cable car coming in...

So the Gulmarg Gondola is Asia's highest cable car project. It takes place in two stages;-
Stage  : From Gulmarg to Kungdoori
Stage  : From Kungdoori to Aparwath

And we chose the former. It was sooo soo good to ride the gondola up and looking across at the giant Himalaya. Well, you can also see the LoC (Line of Control) between India and Pakistan from the Stage 2. So if you wish to locate LoC, go further up.

And can you see we had gotten the perfect weather? There are moment of nervousness because sometimes the gondola stops abruptly for few seconds and it does make strange sounds. Haha. Takoot. But the breathtaking view along the way up distracts us from this silly thoughts. Hehe.

Local tourists

Kungdoori Station

Kungdoori Station

Huge crowd 

Fresh layer of snow

We finally reached the phase 1 and then started the enthralling experience of walking in snowfall for hours. We took some instagram worthy photos too. Haha.

So Gulmarg if you can see is a popular skiing destination. I have skied once in Poland and I don't like it at all. Long story short, I fell few times on the way down and I can't get up! Hahahhaa.  I really have a great admiration to those Kashmiris who can expertly control their body on these dangerously vertical slopes. Sooo envy these people who seem to be enjoying ski from such a high point.


  Us again

It looked like a park with huuugeeee crowd at every direction


We stayed there for a while at the top and watch them glide down the slopes one by one. The view was sooo incredible and it is such a surreal feelings to be standing at the level of snow-capped mountain. 

And eventually, it takes a lot of effort to breathe as my nose is frozen and numb. It was so so so cold and we really need a shelter to protect ourselves against cold. I feel like passing out at that point of time. Sobs. Then later Farouq brought us to the nearby restaurant which is a little bit buried in thick snow. 

On our way to the restaurant, we passed by several tea stalls. Well it's not much more than just a small table waiting for tourists to come through to rest and revive. Nothing much they can offer; chocolate bars, biscuits, sweet corn, or maybe some hot 2-minute noodles with masala spice and, of course, chai.

I've NEVER tried chai in India because I'm so afraid of getting diarrhea. But chai is not just a cup of tea here. It HAS to be available whenever and wherever you want it. Even in places where there is nothing else but mountains, you will find chai too. Haha. It is a national symbol anyway. Chai and India can never be separated. Lols. 

I really cannot stand anymore being outside in the cold so I requested to sit inside. This is not even a place for customers to sit but looking at my condition, I need something hot. So what I did, I buy a bottle of mineral water and ask them to boil it. Hahahaha. See the smoke coming out? And then I was just holding the hot bottle with my hands and felt better. Hiks.

Okay now this is a true story. I know someone out there ordered paratha because they were making it inside and they have dropped the food on the WET floor when they were about to serve their customers. Oppsss. So they basically apply that 5 seconds rule here; they took it quickly, put it back on the plate and here you go, lunch is ready! Hahahaha euwwww sangat. 

All of us were just looking at each other and we can only smile. 

The sledge is made of wooden woods and there is no cushion to support when you sit down

I know that Gulmarg is also famous for human sledging and we were here for that. Hehe can you imagine sledging down from Kungdoori all the way back to Gulmarg. It was an unforgettable experience, my whole butt and legs were so sore after sitting for half an hour in the human sledging. Haha. But there is no harm to try the human sledge to support local community :). It was so fun nonetheless. 

It is actually quite challenging to put your legs on the sledge. You need to be flexible, else you would feel tremendous pain to your tight and butt! Haha. But the views all the way down were fantastic. We finally able to see closer view from what we've seen from the cable car. 

As we made our way down, the clouds moved in and the wind picked up.  At that point the wind made it clear that fun time was over and photography time was out of the question. Hehe.

 Tired face haha and huggable moment. It was sooo cold in the evening

Our room had a lovely balcony and we were quite fascinated by these mountains. And I remember last time when I was in Murren, Switzerland back in 2012, I wanted to stay at one of the hotels there, looking at the window in the morning and see the mountains catch the light at sunset. Unfortunately, that was just a dream. Everything is expensive in Switzerland and I couldn't afford to pay. Sobs.

The culprit

As we returned to the warmth of Hilltop, we then realised all the adrenaline rush got us exhausted and we were hungryyy. Hehe. And this is where it all started. Haha. 

We spent the night by watching TV and just to let you know no matter when you watch TV in India, you will see Shah Rukh Khan. Hahaha. No kidding. Almost every channel. So that night, we watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Rahul and Anjali. Haha. I've seen this movie many times before but all of us were soooo happy to watch it again here in India. Hiks. No translation, no problem. You've remembered almost everything already. Haha. 

And by the middle of the night while watching our King Khan, both Nini and I were running to the toilet, not sure which one should explode first! Bahahaha. It's no fun please. We can't even sleep that night, sobs. Haha. Pity the toilet bowl. We took chi kit teck aun and requested some salt from the hotel staff and put inside the water for us to drink. We know that it will pass eventually but it was nightmare, still. Really can't bare the thought of it now. We were just laying on the bed next to each other and try to compromise who should have gone to the toilet first. Hahaha.  

I hope that you’re never cursed with it, but it’s all part of the travelling experience. Hehe. 

To be continued.

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8:24 AM | 0 comments

Noor Rafidah Jacob
Fida Jacob
Selangor, MY
Chartered accountant
EY Tax Consultant
Kaplan Financial UK
IIUM Alumni

Hi everyone! My weakness is pretty things and kindness. Knowledge is of high importance. I believe that everyone has the potential to become the best they can be and that beauty comes within. This is a spot where I'll share with you some of my adventures + my inner thoughts! Oh and don't forget to follow me on instagram! : @fidajacob

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