Somewhere in Monte Carlo
I am sick.
And also insanely tired. And mildly headache. I had to force myself (or at least I had to) get out of my bed this morning as I wanted to beat my sickness as soon as humanly possible since I'll be taking few exams next week and the week after that.
They said, demam rindu which I think yes, maybe its true. Haha. Hmm, I don't get sick very often to be honest. The last time I got sick when I was in Makkah. I was sooo sick that I couldn't wake up and go to Haram to perform my Umrah. But I believe Allah is the Most Merciful, there are always hidden blessings in the hardships Allah gives us. :).
And lately, I'm getting sooo emotional. Blame it on the hormones. Or does the weather really affect your emotions? Now, it is a lot cooler than the previous week. It was raining almost everyday. Where are you Mr. Sun? Hmmm.
Few days ago, I was studying in my attic as usual. But at some point, I really had to stop doing everything and just listen to the sound that rain made hitting my attic roof. Hmm. I love rain, I just fall in love with the smell of the rain and I find it very soothing. But why am I so melancholy? Sigh. Do I miss someone really bad? My friend gave me one quote, "it's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does". I can't lie to myself. Its just my mind that gets angry, but my heart demi Allah, I still care.
The fact that I don't want to contact him any more, the tears just keep falling. And I went to my friend's room just because I know I am responsible for what I choose to feel, and that moment I chose to cry. Call me stupid it's okay, after all I'm only human. She hugged me. Sobs. I told her that the sound of rain makes me so sad. And maybe the kind of music (piano and violin music collections for relaxing and studying) that I was listening to at that time, enhance the effect of that melody to me, I don't know.
Somewhere in Monte Carlo
Reality hits hard. I really miss my old self. And its already 12.15am and I am due to be up in less than 6 hours to study, so till later. Thanks for reading :).
Hi everyone! My weakness is pretty things and kindness. Knowledge is of high importance. I believe that everyone has the potential to become the best they can be and that beauty comes within. This is a spot where I'll share with you some of my adventures + my inner thoughts! Oh and don't forget to follow me on instagram! : @fidajacob